for when you don't know what else to say

Friday, September 30, 2005

A Friendly Whedonverse Reminder

Serenity opens today! If you're a fan of well written stories, sci fi in general, Joss Whedon, or the guy from DC Cab, this is the film for you. I encourage everyone to see it at least once, if not twice. Or three times. It's getting amazing reviews. Let's get out there and support a potential franchise that would actually deliver quality entertainment to a multiplex near you. This is one night I know I won't be upset about spending the $10.

Feelin' Bad For Tara Reid

Yeah, Tara Reid's kinda gross and stupid with her boozing, but I've never found anything malicious about her existence. She just seems like someone who got a little lost in Hollywood. Here's a depressing interview with her. She's aware of the game, and trying to play it the only way she knows how. Now I feel bad for her.

From Page Six via

Taradise lost: Following the cancellation of her nominally travel-related show "Taradise," Tara Reid has apparently gone into a (new) public tailspin. In an interview for Steppin' Out magazine, Reid -- well, we'll let her speak for herself:

"How many more years are [the media] going to pick on me? There's other new young bad girls. Move on to someone else! ... I need one more great movie role so they say, 'Wow, she can act! She's a great actress.' Then I think they'll leave me alone ... If I'm going to try and do something, it has to happen this year. I'm not stupid."

"Listen, if I could get good movies, you would never see me going out. But when there's nothing to do, what am I supposed to do, just sit in my house and go crazy? But going out is not all I do."

"I've had a million publicists, and they've done nothing for me ... Publicists are supposed to fight for me and believe in me, and they don't do that. They don't!"

"I thought 'Taradise' was going to help me ... I wanted to show the whole world the truth -- I'm fun ... But do I think it was cut like that? No. It could have been a better show ... I didn't want to look like a total party-girl drug retard."

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Golden Oldie: Steal This Movie

Being a green friendly person, I'm going to recycle some pieces I wrote in the past. Today's blast from the past: Steal This Movie.

Steal This Movie

I have achieved minor success as a part-time agent for the up and coming actor Giancarlo Panini (see Jersey Girl...he's the fourth blurred face from the right in the big finale scene). But my ultimate success in Hollywood will not involve being a powerbroker. See, what I really want to do is direct.

And write. But that'll be a necessity given the stories I want to tell. Here are some of the projects I am working on. Don't take my ideas though. I will sue the pants off any bitches who mess with my intellectual property, hear?

Tornado Busters

A young team of maverick meteorological superstars travels across the plains of our great nation, studying tornadoes. Along the way they hook up with a strange backwater mystic, who may have the key to killing tornadoes dead. Should they fool with the forces of nature, or allow chaos and destruction to run rampant through the country's finer trailer parks? With lead "raindancer" Carter Baxter on the case, tornadoes don't stand a chance.

Start Truck: The Movie
A cynical twentysomething who mocks Trekkies gets sucked into a vortex emanating from the local Payless Shoesource. At the end of this swirly psychedelic rainbow from hell lies the planet Ffurdnad, a slightly Scandinavian place located just to the left of the Milky Way. She finds herself imprisoned with two other Payless shoppers: a construction worker with abs of steel and a pasty Trekkie. With galactic political intrigue and weird-ass looking aliens, she's clearly out of her element. Can she learn the rules of this new game to get home with her new friends? And can she learn to trust her heart, which may lead her, ironically enough, down Trekkie way? Only time will tell, when traveling on this Start Truck.

You, Robot, You
If you loved Will Smith's star turn in an adaptation of "I, Robot," then good for you. This story is quite different, so feel free to see them both. On the rough streets of Center City Philadelphia, the only way to survive is to learn the most basic of urban skills: the robot. Riff, a failed session guitarist, runs a class at the Gershman Y that teaches kids from the street how to move. His whole world is changed when Nico, a tough kid from Ardmore, enters the studio reluctantly. Never before has Riff seen such raw talent. Can he break through Nico's walls and reach the wounded trust fund baby beneath the snarling body-odorrific exterior in time for the annual CVS Seasonal Candy Aisle Robot Dancing Championship? Can Nico seal the deal with Anissa, the fiesty flamenco dancer from Fishtown who uses the studio when the robot class is done? Will the Gershman Y be saved from an evil developer's condo plans by a community fundraising dance-off? You, Robot, You brings to vivid life the trials and tribulations of a spunky group of body-rockin' upstarts.

So, whaddya think? I really think the robot dancing movie could have a real shot at success, mainly because I plan to make it in the tradition of Footloose, only better, with awesome clothes and a much more Oscar-worthy feel. Hollywood, here I come!

Christmas in July...errr, September

At last we can impart some advice to our old buddy Tom Delay: Don't drop the soap! Awesome.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

And if you wanna make sense...

"Whatcha looking at me for / I'm no good at math...."

Thanks for the thought, Fiona. But apparently a scary Lost fan is. If you're jonesin' to explore the wacky world of Hurley's beloved numbers, this site is for you. To get officially creeped out in general by the show, I instead send you here, which has changed significantly since the summer. Gulp.

BTW - I'm loving the show, and really appreciating more than ever the amount of thought (and sometimes overthought) they are putting into it. I would prefer not to see creepy little Walt "appearing" in the forest, but hey, those are the chills I signed on for.

Monday, September 26, 2005

So That's What "Real" News Looks Like

It's good to know that CNN is on top of the most important stories today. Last Thursday, they did a similar workup on Lost. I love Lost as much as the next person, but front page coverage doesn't seem necessary. The best part? They're giving free publicity to ABC/DISNEY. Nice job, CNN.

Friday, September 16, 2005


Renee Zellweger is such a team player. The studios must love her. Getting married to the man who sang "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy" to help publicize Cinderella Man was above and beyond. Getting divorced just as she's going on the Asian leg of the Cinderella Man junket? Brilliant. In one master stroke, not only does she garner more publicity for her summer flop, but she gets rid of the human baggage acquired on the US leg. With an annulment no less! Russell Crowe tried with his whole Naomi Campbell impersonation, but Renee's really outdone him this time. Congrats!

And ladies who love tractors: The Chesney is back on the market. Rejoice.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Right Now

What's going on in New Orleans and Mississippi right now defies explanation. I can't believe the images we are seeing, the heartbreaking loss of life, the failures of civic planning and engineering, the complete breakdown of civilization, and the centuries-old city vanishing beneath a wall of water.

Big business will use this opportunity to line their pockets with more gas money to keep their outrageous profit margins intact, without giving anything back to the recovery efforts. Overnight my gas station raised their prices 35 cents, and not a penny of that will be heading down south. It will enrich Bush and his cronies, who may have even had a hand in things going from bad to worse to catastrophic. This makes me sick.

What can we do about it? Conserve what we can. And give all that we can afford to the recovery effort. To make an easy online donation, visit the American Red Cross website here: It might take some time to load (which is great, because it means people are giving in droves!), but stick it out. They need our help so badly, and it's the least we can do.