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Friday, September 08, 2006

Office Supply Swag

The culture of swag is a venerable institution which has been under attack for some time now. Because the world is a totally logical place to live in, the only citizens to receive free awesome stuff are the only citizens who could have afforded to buy it retail in the first place. Stories about Jessica Simpson being a gift hog have been in the press for a while, and her disgusting VMA haul is legendary at this point.

Now that the IRS has laid down the law regarding the taxation of gift bags, I am faced with a terrible dilemma. When an office worker receives a fame-appropriate level free gift from an office supply warehouse, must she declare it on her 1040? Also, should she even acknowlege the swag when it's this:

Sadly, no hand sanitizer was included in the package. It's just a lonely dispenser, and since I have too much ambition to put it on my office wall as a joke, I'm afraid it will go on unused. I guess that's what yard sales are for.


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