Power Lifters For Jesus

It's nice to know that no matter what's going on in the world, Pat Robertson is still out there acting batshit crazy. Apparently he cheated when claiming to leg press a ton. Under Pat's version of the rules of competitive lifting, I could benchpress the principality of Monaco (3 sets, 4 reps each). I'm sure Pat thought that God was imbuing him with holy leg press strength to spread his war on "evil" into the fitness centers of our great nation. I somehow doubt the Lord would waste such impressive powers on a man who openly prays for people to die.

And besides, God's already deputized The Power Team, "One of the most Powerful, Impacting, and Effective Presentations of the Gospel in the World!" I'd love to see that kind of spectacle live, but I don't think the audience would appreciate me cackling in the background. Just like when I went to see Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of George "Skinbeard" Lucas. Or the Sith. Whatever.