Bargain Shopping Safari

The latest lame "adventure" I undertook a few nights ago involved shopping for budget gifts for my intern's birthday. I'm a huge believer in always checking to make sure the stuff at Five Below and the local dollar store isn't as crappy as I remember before being forced to go to Target and buy normal stuff at higher prices. After using my trusty machete to hack a path through aisles of Men in Black II Trapper Keeper folders, Turkish faux Comet cleaning products, and Napolean Dynamite magnets, I managed to find these items:

Kids Today Are Lazy Part 1
Most of the fun of Mash is putting together the board by yourself in the corner of your notebook. I would never dream of trying to foretell the future any other way. Buying this would be an affront to my belief in the clairvoyant powers of the Spiral.

A Nice Way To Discourage Smoking
These ashtrays are classy to be sure. I think they would probably work more effectively as ironic ashtrays for hipsters rather than actual anti-smoking paraphernalia pieces.


Kids Today Are Lazy Part 2
I can't believe they're trying to market an activity best left to catholic school teachers in search of a "fun" timekiller on half-days. Hangman in and of itself is pretty lame, but having to pay to play it? Now that's pathetic.