for when you don't know what else to say

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Poor Dylan: An Open Letter to NBC

Dear NBC,

I realize that you are very impressed by your "brilliant" and "clever" radio ads featuring a fake "wacky" morning crew talking up your shows every day. At first I thought the strategy brilliant, until you ran the ads every day, allowing the suits to catch on and force you to put a "Commercial Announcement" disclaimer before and after each one.

After a whole season of this, I just got angry that someone expected me to sit there and listen to someone calling Kelsey Grammar a brilliant thespian, annointing ER a thrilling and subtle drama, or debating how awesome that Howie Mandel show for mental midgets who like to shout at briefcases totally is without a trace of irony. I thought that the end of the official television season would give me some respite from listening to your excrutiatingly happy fictional disc jockeys go on and on about how "rad" The Apprentice is. I was wrong.

Yesterday I had the misfortune to hear the summer season kick-off begin in earnest. Windfall should be interesting just because of Dylan McKay (AKA Luke Perry), but now I read that it's not even good. Disappointing, yes. But what really zapped any desire I had to see that show was listening to the female sidekick "pondering" how money changes people.

You're not fooling anyone, NBC. And I especially dislike any ruse that plays on me being a complete moron who can't recognize my own real wacky morning show voices. It's stupid, just like most of your shows. Have a straightforward "tonight on Windfall" ad. It could work, you never know.

A Viewer Who's Still Just Going To Watch The Office and L&O: D'Onofrio, No Matter What You Do


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