A Fond Farewell

I am sad to report that my ghetto fabulous blue shiny coat has passed on from this plane of consciousness. Purchased five years ago at the Gallery, this coat has seen me through major life changes, copious amounts of alcohol, and two atrocious presidential elections. I have tried to fill the hole in my heart with two new puffy coats that I got awesome deals on. But alas, no coat will ever be as shiny or as water-resistant. Here she is in all her final glory:


I bought that coat while I was living at the tenement slum apartment on Spruce Street, during the Eccentric Tiny British Roommate Administration (not to be confused with the Skeevy Computer Creep Boy With Bathroom Peeping Fetish Roommate or the Crazy Polish Volleyballer Princess Checkout Girl Who Sleeps On The Floor Roommate Administrations). I remember the day quite clearly: October 9, 2000. Events that happened that day or so:

• New stove delivered to tenement slum apartment
  
• Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon released
  
• First shopping trip with Tiny British Roommate
  
• New Backstreet Boys video "Shape of My Heart" premieres on TRL to great fanfare
  
• PJ Harvey, new Superman Brandon Routh, and "Double Trouble" twins Liz and Jean Sagal all celebrated birthdays
• I took a rare day off from my last hateful job

Cue the Boyz II Men single, because they said it best: "It's So Hard, to Say Goodbye-hi-hiiiiiiii, To Ye-hes-sterda-haaaayy." The coat will lie in state at my house's not-so-grand rotunda this evening, until it is taken away tomorrow by the municipal "undertaker" to whatever Arlington Cemetery equivalent exists for used-up plastic coats in my borough.

Thank you, shiny coat, for all the compliments you have garnered for me. All the chilly weather you've helped me stave off. Each time it rained and I put you over my head as a shield because you were basically a sheet of blue plastic. More importantly, for being my constant companion and stain-repeller all those years I rode SEPTA twice a day. I will never forget you.