This Just In: Americans On Juries Can Be Very Very Dumb

I'm not even going to make the obvious joke about the people on juries being dumb to start with because they couldn't figure out how to avoid jury duty. I think jury duty is something we should take seriously, as annoying as it can be to get the summons and have to miss work. Now TV has found a new way to get bad PR:contaminating juries. While watching these shows does set up some high expectations for forensic evidence (CSI more than any other), both are so ridiculous that I would hope the average human being could see that they are as close to reality as that show about the space cowboys.

For those who aren't sure what to believe, I offer some pointers. First of all, crime scene investigators do not actually get to interrogate the suspects. Real lab work is not done over a two-minute trance/techno video montage. Crime labs aren't funded by Bill Gates, they are funded by tax payers, and therefore do not have every gadget under the sun at their disposal. Nor do their offices look like high-end boutique law firm offices with special ergonomic yet stylish chairs. Also, most cases don't have four thousand bits of forensic evidence to pour through. Therefore, you've got to consider other things, like testimony from eyewitnesses and non-splattery expert witnesses alongside whatever forensics they throw your way.

Both shows are also wrong to always have "real" criminals give up the ghost and confess all in the end. While the CSI and Law & Order franchises are very entertaining, they always end each show like an episode of Scooby Doo. "I would have gotten away with it too, if it hadn't have been that darn Horatio Caine and his Psychic, Soul-Baring Sunglasses of Criminal Justice."

TV shows and their pulled-from-the-headlines "twist" plotlines should not enter your mind when determining a very real person's very real fate. That's just asinine. In summation, TV isn't real. Except for pro wrestling. That's totally real.