A Study by the Department of DUH
BREAKING NEWS: Clowns are universally disliked by children because they SCARE THE BEJEEZUS OUT OF THEM. I know! How shocking are those results?!? I think that's gotta be one of the most pointless surveys of the past few decades (at least).
LONDON - Bad news for Coco and Blinko — children don't like clowns, and even older kids are scared of them.
That's the finding of a poll of youngsters by researchers from the University of Sheffield who were examining how to improve the decor of hospital children's wards.
The study, reported in the Nursing Standard magazine, found all the 250 patients aged between 4 and 16 they quizzed disliked the use of clowns, with even the older ones finding them scary.
"As adults we make assumptions about what works for children," said Penny Curtis, a senior lecturer in research at the university.
"We found that clowns are universally disliked by children. Some found them quite frightening and unknowable."
I for one have always been scared of them, which made me quite the skeptical/terrified circus attendee as a child. They still creep me out to this day. As do most sports mascots, but that's another matter. There's just something sinister about someone who wants to put grotesque makeup on to obliterate their features, dress like a hobo, wear outrageous shoes, honk horns at random intervals, and squirt you in the eye with a fake flowers. Don't even get me started on the clown cars!
The most realistic depiction of a clown in popular culture, or at least the one that most corresponds to my conception of them, has to be Pennywise in Stephen King's IT. The gnashing choppers, the sinister twelve-packs a day voice, the balloons and murder stuff, it all makes sense. Purists may argue that the quesoriffic TV adaptation wasn't even that frightening, but it was scary enough for this 14-year-old to never be interested in reading the undoubtedly terrifying source material.
Does anyone out there in the interwebs like clowns?